Dr. Louis Brown Ogbeifun

Accredited Mediator | Certified Professional Manager and Trainer in Workplace Conflicts


Letting Go of Vengeance: A Path to Inner Peace

I know we are wired to be reactive in a fight or flight mode whenever adrenaline wells up in our systems. While others have found ways of dealing with stressful situations by letting go of what they have no control over, others have yet to perfect the art of consigning the unpleasant past into the dustbin of history. They see life as a fight or war and perpetually seek every opportunity to avenge what others have done to them. My friend, “Before You Embark on A Journey of Revenge, Dig Two Graves” — Confucius. That is, dig one grave for yourself and one for the other person.

First, our desire for vengeance speaks to our deepest souls in bitterness. It is like the bile that destroys fats. Besides, when the bile touches food, it turns its sweet nature into a bitter taste. When you begrudge people and hatch plans to avenge what they have done to you, you are only killing yourself in installments because the other person may be totally oblivious to the bitterness and grudge in you. So, is there anything worth destroying your health for?

Secondly, it is bad enough that you have destroyed part of your anatomy and physiology with hurts and bitter feelings. If you progress the hurtful feelings further and you still decide to avenge what someone has done to you, let it be known in your spirit that the two of you may be killed during your vengeance mission. That is why the warning of Confucius is that when you embark on a vengeance mission, dig two graves for yourself and the other person. Sadly, a total stranger would inherit whatever you are fighting over. Be careful.

Leave vengeance for the God you serve. Remove the impurities of bitterness, unforgiveness, and revenge that clog the vessels of goodness in you. Relish only good moments. No matter what people do to you, never seek vengeance because it is an ill wind that blows no one any good.

Grace and peace!!!