Dr. Louis Brown Ogbeifun

Accredited Mediator | Certified Professional Manager and Trainer in Workplace Conflicts


Overthinking: The Hidden Enemy Within

I just read a post from Queen Elizabeth Udisi who quoted an unknown author admonishing us to stop overthinking and overanalizing. The post sent my mind on parade. It sent me thinking about the character of the word ‘over.’ In truism, are these words not really at the belly of all our problems?

When people are hypertensive, apart from genetically or dietetically related cases, check the underlying causes, overthinking and overanalizing would be involved.

Some people miss opportunities because of these four-in-two words.

Underlying turbulent relationships is overthinking and overanalizing habits. Hatred for people begin with overthinking and overanalizing of their persons, their characters, their behaviors and we finally profile them. We are so judgmental.

Is overthinking and overanalizing not the reasons why war erupts among nations?

Looking further, many words starting with over, tend to have some serious implications on and for us. For example, overthrow, overweight, overdue, poverarching, overactive, overemphasize, overqualified, oversensitive, overeating, overdraft, overdrinking, etc.

Take the word overqualified for instance. Somebody applied for a job. The person was screened and deemed qualified, which led to the invitation for an interview. On getting there, the fellow was told s/he was overqualifed. Imagine how deflated that person would be.

There is nothing as good as being moderate in all we do. Want to go into a relationship? Do not overthink or overanalize.

Your partner didn’t call or text on your special days, which I am guilty of. Do not overthink or overanalize because we are all fallible. A simple ‘seems you have forgotten today is.. ‘ may just save the day.

Do you know that overperforming just like underperforming in the other room has scattered many relationships?

Your partner is not forthcoming enough in sensuality, do well not to overthink and overanalize.

If things are not going on well as expected in interdependent relationships, instead of overthinking and overanalizing, use open ended questions to probe for reasons for the actions. Do not assume that a bad behavior is due to the person’s wittingly wants to hurt you or be bad to you. For example, my dear, you have not taken me out for sometime, what could possibly be responsible for the change? It is quite different when you say, I know you have a newfoundland, continue! The former would make your partner open up. The latter would make matters worse.

Please feel free to also add words starting with over that we should refrain from for our good and the good of others.

Queen Lizzy, thanks for making this post possible.

Grace and peace!!!